So i have decided to make a life change. Not just quitting smoking, but also getting my weight into a healthy stage.
Since i found out my dad was diabetic..its been a rough road. I do not wanna go down his path. I wanna make myself healthy and be here on this earth for as long as i can. I wanna see my future children graduate, go to college, get married, and have children of their own.
What also hit me was my 11 year old niece, Caitlynn, when she told me she wanted me to quit smoking.. at first i thought, ahh your just a kid, you dont even know whats going on yet...But then i asked her.. "why do you want me to quit smoking?"..and she said, "well, smoking hurts you, it makes your teeth yellow, and makes your skin all gross. It also gives you cancer. I want you to be alive for a long time, i want you to be at my wedding..and well, because I love you." That right there, was the most amazing thing i ever heard. She really hit something, and i told myself..what the hell am i doing to myself. I am killing myself!
I would love to quit cold turkey, but my mind isent in the right stage yet. I will get it there. sooner the better.
Also, my boyfriend is helping me.. at first i was like " you dont smoke, you have no idea how it is to want something so much, you will practically KILL for it"..and " why do you care if i smoke or not?" He said, " I do care! i care alot, i care about you. I want you to live a long time, and smoking will only shorten that. and well because I love you very much, and you mean everything to me"
Am i stupid, do i not know these things?...well i realize it now. I am loved and i love my family so so much, they mean everything to me!! I dont wanna be without them, and i dont want them to be without me!
So, for me, a life change is necessary!. I am proud of myself for finally being strong enough to do this!. I dont want my kids to see me as a mom who isent healthy and smokes, because i would never want that for my kids!
I wanna get married, i wanna have kids. I wanna grow old with the person i love. I wanna die old, asleep in my bed, not in some damn hospital bed with tubes up my nose!! thats not how it should be!. I mean in all reality..as sad as it is. Its almost impossible to die a natural death. Its just so sad.
As of tomorrow , i will begin my new life.. I start by eating a healthy breakfast. Maybe some whole grain toast, and fruit. Then I go for my walk..bring my water...that is important!!. Then snack..maybe a handful of veggies, with water...no dip!!..:P. and supper..a nice salad, with smaller portions of chicken, potatoes or rice... and water to drink. not sure exactly what my meal plans are gonna be like just yet. I still need to sort it out!
I am so excited to see how much will come out of this..although i know it WILL be worth it!!!
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This is the best thing! I understand what you mean completely... My whole life changed about 4 years ago when I was told that I was Insulin Resistant and at a very high risk of getting type II diabetes. That was a turning point for me.
ReplyDeleteJust remember on this journey - the biggest thing that helped me - You WILL have slip ups, and you WILL eat junk sometimes, and that's OK. If you make a mistake, just keep eating healthy the rest of the day, don't go "Oh well I messed up the diet, I may as well just start over tomorrow" and stuff your face. I ALWAYS did that, and it was such a problem!! Just aim to eat healthy 80% of the time, and forgive yourself for those 20%.I cannot wait to see the new you!!!